tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42533290624729866832024-03-14T01:32:07.109-06:00Mom of All TradesYou do it all, Mom. So here's the place to talk about parenting, healthy eating, teaching kids about money, and having fun. Check back weekly for great ideas, recipes, activities and more.dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.comBlogger131125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-68454934750290424152014-11-24T09:29:00.002-07:002014-11-24T09:29:37.781-07:00Savoring Christmas - An Interview with Author Stacy Voss
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">A friend recently posed a question on Facebook: “Does anyone
have any ideas on how to get kids in the true spirit of Christmas?” It’s the
age-old question, the inner dilemma many parents face in wanting our kids
to see December 25<span style="font-size: small;"><sup>th</sup> as so much more than just a day to receive
presents. Stacy Voss, author of the new book, <em>Savoring Christmas: 31 Days to Prepare Your Heart for the Messiah</em>, is “here” to share a few thoughts with us. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Stacy,
what do you recommend we parents do to help make Christmas more meaningful to our kids?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Let me start by saying I don’t come close to having all the
answers on this one. It truly is a beast to tackle, but I’ll gladly share the
little I do know about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">My book, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Savoring
Christmas: 31 Days to Prepare Your Heart for the Messiah</i>, just came out.
Honestly, I didn’t write it intending families to sit down and read it together,
but as more and more people are telling me that’s what they’re doing, I’m
realizing the book really is a great way to share with kids, perhaps in large
part because I reference my own little ones quite a bit. For example, I talk
about my Bubba having a meltdown in a toy store a few weeks before Christmas
and say <em>that</em> is the meaning of Christmas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Gabe wailed after I told him he couldn’t buy any toys since
Christmas was right around the corner, at least in my mind since it was only a
few weeks away. But to a then 5-year-old, it was a different story: “Christmas
is just so far away!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">There was a 400-year gap from the time of the last prophet until
the birth of Christ. Talk about a long time! It isn’t hard for me to imagine
the Israelites crying out, “How much longer, God!” I’ve used that as a teaching
point with my kids. Rather than criticizing them for growing impatient around
Christmas, we talk about how the Jews must have felt and the eager anticipation
it created.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">I also pull other examples from my kids, such as when I thought
my daughter would be ecstatic over what I got her and she was anything but. It
hurt my heart and I wanted to get mad, but then it hit me: how many people were
disappointed that the One they were hoping to save them was born in a stinky
stable? Oh, yes. Disappointment really does bring meaning to Christmas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Other
than using your kids as examples, what are some other ways <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Savoring Christmas </i>will help children understand the deeper meaning
of Christmas?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Day 1 of the book is entitled “Scarfing versus Savoring.” It
talks about my black lab gulping down her meals so quickly that she seems to
forget she even ate. She begins begging for more food just a few minutes later.
I think we tend to do the same at Christmas, jumping from one activity to the
next so quickly that we forget what we’ve even done. I contrast that with Mary,
who “treasured all these things and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19).<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Each day has 3-4 optional questions or activities. One of them
for Day 1 is to create a treasure box (mimicking Mary’s “treasuring”) by
jotting down at least one thing that happens each day throughout advent that
helps us prepare for the celebration of the Messiah’s birth, or a treasure of
what we learn as we pour into others throughout the month.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">I just found an adorable Willow Tree box with a woman holding a heart as if she’s truly treasuring it. I think I’m going to
pick one up and challenge my kids to see if we can fill it together this
Christmas season.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">What
are some other things we can do to help our kids better understand the
meaning of Christmas?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Last year, my pastor said he gives his kids 3 presents
every year. 1 represents the frankincense, which in his house is a more
practical gift. The second is for the myrrh, and the third, gold. He said this
approach has made it less about seeing who will get more while drawing the
focus back to Christ.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Operation Christmas Child and Project Angel Tree are also great
ways to let the kiddos pick out items to give away and remind them that there
are others who otherwise wouldn’t receive anything for Christmas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">My mom used to work with someone who threw a birthday party for
Jesus every year. There was cake, ice-cream, games—everything you’d expect at a
kid’s birthday. The main difference was that everyone brought a wrapped gift
such as pajamas or jackets that were given to underprivileged children.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Another friend fills a large jar with their spare change all
year and then uses it to bless others at Christmas. She says, “We call it our
‘blessing jar’ as a daily reminder that we are called to bless others.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Stacy,
is it too late for someone to start reading your book this year?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Day 1 actually starts on December 1<span style="font-size: small;"><sup>st</sup> (remember how I
said that disappointment embodies the meaning of Christmas? Well, that comes on
December 26<sup>th</sup> and then the rest of the month is spent praising God
for His gift and preparing our hearts to let Him lead us into the New
Year.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">If
someone wants a copy of your book, how can they find it?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">It’s on Amazon (</span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Savoring-Christmas-Devotions-Prepare-Messiah/dp/1502739321/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414713003&sr=1-4&keywords=savoring+christmas"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: blue;">http://www.amazon.com/Savoring-Christmas-Devotions-Prepare-Messiah/dp/1502739321/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414713003&sr=1-4&keywords=savoring+christmas</span></span></a><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">)
in both a paperback and kindle version, and it’s also on my site at </span><a href="http://www.stacyvoss.com/store"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: blue;">www.stacyvoss.com/store</span></span></a>.<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Stacy,
thanks for sharing!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #10131a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Thank you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-33854989168499708122014-10-27T14:59:00.000-06:002014-10-27T14:59:51.904-06:00Off The Mark With Fatigue
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<em><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“I
will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint."</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">
- Jeremiah 31:25<o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I remember the day I took my then-9-year-old to her
first archery class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had been
practicing with a toy bow and arrow for years and eagerly anticipated the day
when she could get her hands on the real thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">After stretching and warming up, she finally
strapped on a protective arm guard and picked up a real bow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She straddled the firing line, aimed, and let
her arrow fly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It streamed through the
air, straight and true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Success.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One after another, her arrows hit targets fifteen
yards away as her smile got bigger and bigger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I have no idea how many arrows she launched, but
after about 40 minutes her bow was tipping to the side and her arrows hit low
on the target.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fatigue led to a loss of
focus, and therefore, less accuracy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I’ve sure had that feeling as a mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I am tired, I am much more likely to
ignore an offense that really should be disciplined.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I serve food that is easy to get on the
table, even if its nutritional value is marginal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dawdling is allowed to the point where the
kids go to bed later than normal when I don’t have the energy to keep them on
track through the bed time routine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">When mom is tired, everyone suffers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Now, when this happens occasionally, I don’t worry
about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What concerns me is when it
becomes the normal state of family life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sometimes what starts as fatigue turns into apathy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Mom, please make the commitment <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">today</i> to take whatever steps are needed to give yourself more
energy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you need more sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you need to cut sugar or simple carbs
from your diet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you need to eat
more veggies, or take a multi-vitamin, or get some exercise. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you need a little downtime to just play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe you could ask God to help, and spend
some extra time in prayer with the Giver Of All Good Things. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may even need to experiment with some
different ideas to figure out which ones really make a noticeable difference
for you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">After putting down her bow and stretching again for
ten or fifteen minutes, my daughter went back to the firing line and started
hitting her targets again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As moms, we
can be on the mark as well with just a little refreshment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">What do you do to re-energize yourself when you
start feeling weary?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-17897001540342406052014-01-07T16:09:00.000-07:002014-01-07T16:09:32.955-07:0010 Reminders for MomsHappy New Year! 'Tis the season to set new resolutions, but sometimes we get so excited about our grand goals that we forget the little things we need to do every day to truly feel great about our parenting. Here are 10 Reminders to help you keep your family in shape so you can focus attention on those other goals.<br />
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10 New Year’s Reminders for Moms</div>
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1 – Give hugs to every day (to your kids <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> your husband)</div>
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2 – Kids hear better when mom’s voice is calm and kind.</div>
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3 – Cranky kids and naughty kids are often tired kids.
Protect bedtime!</div>
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4 – The way you talk to your child tells him his value. Make
sure your words and your tone tell him he is special, wonderful, and precious.</div>
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5 – Make time to play.</div>
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6 – Kids need parents, not another friend. Don’t be afraid
of your parental authority.</div>
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7 – Listen more than you speak. Listen with your ears, eyes,
heart, and gut – you will learn a lot!</div>
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8 – Don’t jump in too quickly – give your kids a chance to
find their own solutions and fix their own problems.</div>
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9 – Model forgiveness.</div>
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10 – Say “I love you” every day.</div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-81407017364685361412013-02-13T10:17:00.001-07:002013-02-13T10:17:58.969-07:00Perk Up Popcorn With Easy Add-Ins
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Popcorn is a classic snack that nearly everyone loves. It
packs well in school lunches, makes a great afternoon treat, and of course, is
a movie night staple.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You can add variety, and sometimes an extra boost of
nutrients, by mixing some other fun ingredients amidst those yummy puffs.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Try these add-ins, in any combination you like, to perk up your popcorn:</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dry roasted edamame (soy beans)</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sunflower or pumpkin seeds</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Mini pretzels</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A sprinkle of cinnamon sugar</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Parmesan cheese</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Craisins, dried pineapple pieces, or other dried
fruit</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Chocolate chips, yogurt chips, or M&Ms</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dry cereal, such as Cheerios, Kix, or Chex</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Peanuts or other nuts</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">10.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Candied or coated nuts</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Happy snacking!</span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-54494238189286201142013-02-11T15:12:00.000-07:002013-02-11T15:12:55.414-07:00Winning Lessons for Little Athletes
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Thanks to their large supply of energy and low dose of
discernment where balls, mats, or running is concerned, most kids enjoy some
kind of athletic activity. This is a great thing because, not only do they get
needed exercise, but kids also learn valuable life lessons on the sporting
field.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sports Can Help
Develop Godly Character<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When you praise your child, avoid talking up the score or
the trophy. Winning kids already know you are proud of the accomplishment.
Instead, point out examples of good sportsmanship, team leadership, dedication,
perseverance, etc. Make sure your child knows you are proud not only when he
wins, but when he puts forth a good effort and excels in all areas of the game,
not just scoring.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Use Sports To Teach
Kids About Priorities<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Since kids typically don’t want to miss practices or games,
use these occasions to help them learn how and where to focus their efforts. I
like to prioritize commitments in the following order: God, family,
work/school, other commitments, social time with friends. This means that we
don’t join sporting leagues with games every Sunday morning (I am okay with
occasionally missing church for a sporting event, but not more that once a
quarter). It also means that homework needs to be done before going to
practice. Family includes both family events and family obligations, meaning chores
need to be done consistently if the child wishes to keep playing.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Handle Winning And
Losing The Same Way<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Obviously it is exciting to win and disappointing to lose.
However, too many kids don’t know how to win or lose <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">well</i>. We can help this by basically treating both the same. After
the game, let your child share her feelings and experience them with her, as
long as she keeps them healthy. If she is excited about a win, be happy with
her. If she is depressed over a loss, let her know you sympathize. Make sure,
however, that she keeps her emotions within the realm of good sportsmanship.
Bragging, weeping, or angrily criticizing other players, coaches, or refs is
not acceptable.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Analyze the game and talk about what went well and where
there is room for improvement. Keep it light and short to avoid launching into
a lecture.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As we discussed before, praise the skills she used on the
field that don’t clearly contribute to the score, such as leadership,
encouragement, and good sportsmanship.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">With these tips, your kids will have a great time both on
the field and off.</span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-14276747331376617292013-01-30T05:00:00.000-07:002013-01-30T05:00:18.680-07:00Enjoy the Snow for Fun and Fitness<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span>The next time your kids ask you to play in the snow, take
them up on their offer and trade some gym time for family fun. According to
fitsugar.com, a 150 lb woman burns the following calories per hour when engaged
in these fun winter activities.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Building a snowman = 285 calories</div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Having a snowball fight = 319 calories</div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Making snow angels = 214 calories</div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Downhill skiing or snowboarding = 340 calories</div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Snowshoeing or cross country skiing = 476 calories</div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Ice skating = 408 calories</div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Sledding = 408 calories</div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Shoveling (okay, so maybe this one isn’t much fun) = 340
calories</div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
Get out there and have fun with your kids – it is good for
all of you!</div>
<br /></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span>dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-34835618559822148582013-01-28T05:00:00.000-07:002013-01-28T05:00:06.452-07:00Have a Family Game Night<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Right now, before you make any other plans, go pull out a few board games and set them somewhere you will see later tonight so you don't forget to have a family game night.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Once you get going, everyone has fun with board games. However, to many of us, the idea doesn't sound very appealing until the fun actually starts. It is also such a simple idea that many of us forget to do it. I know I have games that are nearly new because I so often make bigger, more elaborate plans for family fun that the game boxes remain unopened.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">However, over the past few weeks my daughter and I have been making a point of playing together more often. What fun we've had!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Kids learn important life skills through games:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">~How to take turns</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">~How to lose a turn with good grace</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">~How to be a good sport when winning and losing</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">~How to be fair</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">~How to follow directions</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">~How to follow a sequence</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">~Critical thinking</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">~Counting</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">~How to be an encourager</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">
~Problem solving</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times;">~Time management</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times;">~Strategy</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times;">~Money management (in some games such as Monopoly)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times;">~Fine motor skills (especially when holding a hand of cards</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times;">~How to deal with disappointment</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times;">~Self confidence</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times;">~Communication skills, including intergenerational communication skills</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times;">~And more.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Plus, as a parent, games give you the chance to check on
your child’s skills and help you assess how he is developing. Pay attention to
how your child plays and gently guide him in the areas where he needs to grow. If
when moving his piece around the board he tends to skip over spots or doesn’t
count correctly, help him move his piece back to where he started so he can try
again. If he cries when he doesn’t win, help him learn how to use words to
express his unhappiness. Teach him to say, “I am sad that I didn’t win,
but I am happy for you.”</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">You can also use family game night as a chance to talk to
your kids about their lives, the issues they are facing and how they feel in a relaxed setting, especially with preteens and teens who may not be as
chatty as they once were.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Enjoy the time to bond with your family, practice skills, and
have a ton of fun.</span></div>
<br />
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-1042004750554759652013-01-25T05:00:00.000-07:002013-01-25T05:00:14.142-07:00What To Do With All That Cash
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Did your kids receive gifts of cash for Christmas? If they
haven’t already spent it, they may be trying to figure out how to extinguish that
fire burning in their pockets.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kids love the freedom, independence, and power that comes
from spending their own money on items they’ve hand selected. These experiences
are great, teaching kids to make decisions, manage money, and live with the joys
or consequences of their choices.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, before heading to the store, have a conversation with
your child about his thoughts on where the money should go. I recommend giving
kids three separate piggy banks: a spending bank, a savings bank, and an
offering bank. Allowance money should typically be divided between the three
banks (I let the child decide how to split the amount between the banks, but
that is a topic for another post). You and your child can decide if gift money,
or other special occasion money, also needs to be divided or if it can just be
spent on something fun. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Discuss what type of purchase your child has in mind. If she
has been saving for a particular toy, her Christmas money might allow her to
make that purchase. Perhaps she received a large sum, but just wants a few
inexpensive things, like a Littlest PetShop figure or a Zooble. In that case,
talk to her about taking a little money to the store and saving the rest for
the next time she’d like a new toy. If your child has no idea what she wants,
ask if she would like to start by looking at toys, clothes, books, etc. so you
have an idea of where to start shopping and she can start making a mental plan.
Wandering around Target looking for something to buy is not usually the best
plan. When kids do this, they tend to make impulse purchases they later regret.
I am in favor of doing this with a little bit of money because it teaches kids
to be more thoughtful in their purchases, but protect them from the huge
disappointment of wasting ALL of their gift money on an unwise choice.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Also, let your kids know that you always have the final say
on a purchase. It does not matter that it is the child’s money, as the parent
you do not have to let inappropriate clothes, music, video games, toys, or
anything else into your house. Don’t censor a child’s purchase because you
think it is silly or unrealistic (although you should gently ask questions
about such items to help your child evaluate the true value of the item), but
do stand by your morals and let your kids know when items cross the line.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">By taking the time to discuss your child’s shopping goals
before heading to the store, you are likely to have more fun and your child
will have a better money management experience.</span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-22973463858789093912013-01-23T05:00:00.000-07:002013-01-23T05:00:00.198-07:00Make a Fun and Easy Fruit DipLooking for creative ways to get your kids to eat more fruit? Try this fun dip.<br />
<br />
Combine 1 8oz brick of cream cheese (I like the lowfat Neufchatel cheese), 1/2 cup brown sugar, and 1 tsp. vanilla. Blend until smooth and creamy.<br />
<br />
Stiffer fruits, such as apple slices and whole strawberries, can easily be dipped. Flimsier varieties such as peach slices may need to be spread with the mixture.<br />
<br />
Once the fruit has some cheese on it, your child can dip the piece again in crushed walnuts, pecans or shredded coconut for extra fun and protein. <br />
<br />
You can even put some dip in a small plastic container for a sack lunch treat.<br />
<br />
Fruit has never been so much fun!dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-13277264072444705902013-01-21T05:00:00.000-07:002013-01-21T05:00:00.092-07:00When Is Your Child Old Enough For A Sleepover?
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is the call many moms dread, “Can your son/daughter come
spend the night?” Sleepovers are lots of fun for kids, and help them
practice important skills such as independence and manners. But how do you know
if your child is ready?</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The complicated answer to this seemingly simple question is
that there is no set age at which a child can go to a slumber party. It depends
on several factors.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Is your child comfortable separating from you?
If she hangs on to your leg when you drop her off at school/preschool/Sunday
school, she may not be comfortable leaving you for an entire night. Test this
by letting your child spend the night with grandparents, cousins, or close
family friends who are familiar to your child and who won’t feel embarrassed calling
you in the middle of the night if your child wants to go home.</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Are you comfortable separating from your child?
It is natural to worry a bit when allowing your little one to experience
something new, but if you spend the entire night obsessing about it, or call
the other mom repeatedly to check on your child, you may not be ready. Talk to
your spouse or a trusted friend to determine if your fears are grounded in
truth or if you need to loosen the reins a little.</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Is your child capable of speaking up for
himself? If your child can clearly communicate what he needs, likes, and
dislikes, you can probably feel confident that he will do fine at a friend’s
house without you. If he is still working on these skills, then stick with
shorter play dates where the kids have fun while you and the other mom get to
know each other over a cup of coffee.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do you trust the family inviting your child to
spend the night? If you feel comfortable with the parents, it will go a long
way in easing your fears about the situation. When you are more relaxed, your
child will be also. If you don’t know the parents well, or if you have concerns
about the friend’s siblings, tell the other mom you’d like to get to know them better
first. Invite the family over for dinner so you can see first-hand how the kids
get along and how the parents respond to any conflicts. You can also see what
siblings are like. Never send your child to another home if you don’t feel sure
he will be safe and well supervised.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How does your child play with others? If she
seems to have a steady stream of fun ideas and gets along well with her
friends during play dates, she is probably ready for a longer experience, such
as an overnight. If she tends to argue a lot or get bored, she may not be ready
for an extended interaction.</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">6.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is okay to allow sleepovers with some friends
and not others. Try not to get into the details with your child on why some
overnights are not allowed until your son/daughter is mature enough not to say
something offensive or unkind to a friend. In the meantime, just say, “I’m
sorry but that won’t work this time,” and try to leave it at that. You can
offer to have the friend over to your house to play, or meet at a park for a
fun afternoon.</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">7.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Find out if other kids will be there or not. Is
this a birthday party with several kids spending the night? If so, who will be
there? Will your child know several of the other guests? Make sure your child will have more than one buddy so she doesn't end up feeling left out. Also see if the other guests are kids you are comfortable with your child
being around for a long period of time. If there is a serious concern, you can
let your child go the party but pick him up before everyone pulls out their
sleeping bags.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">8.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Avoid setting an age for sleepovers. This can
cause unneeded conflict when your child is developmentally ready for an
overnight but hasn’t reach the pre-determined age, or when she is old enough to
go but you object to the friend who has invited her. Take each invitation on a
case-by-case basis.</span><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">9.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Above all, trust your gut. If your instincts say
“no,” then your mouth should say it too.</span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-3663817794032637202013-01-18T05:00:00.000-07:002013-01-18T05:00:04.395-07:00For a Quick and East Dinner, Try Happy HatsYou may remember eating <em>Straw Hats</em> as a kid. When I was growing up they were one of my favorite hot lunch entrees at school. I still love them, and so do my kids. You basically make sloppy joe meat, serve it on top of tortilla chips, and top it with shredded cheddar cheese.<br />
<br />
However, I found an easy variation on this that my family also loves. My youngest daughter named it <em>Happy Hats, </em>because it is like <em>Straw Hats</em> but it makes her even happier.<br />
<br />
Brown one pound of ground beef.<br />
<br />
Add one large 28oz can of baked beans (I like Bush's Homestyle beans, but any kind will do) and one 15 1/4 oz can of whole kernel corn to the beef. Simmer until everything is hot and well-mixed.<br />
<br />
Serve over Fritos (the Fritos Scoops work really well) and top with finely shredded cheddar cheese.<br />
<br />
Enjoy, and have a great weekend!dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-30795765128666456842013-01-15T15:05:00.000-07:002013-01-15T15:05:55.236-07:00You Are Doing A Great Job!
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Moms don’t hear it often enough, so let me tell you, loud
and clear, you are GREAT! Even if we haven’t met yet, I bet I know some things
you are doing extremely well.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You are exactly the mom your child needs. God
put you and your child together for a specific reason. Life may not always be
easy (in fact, it may rarely be easy), but you are still the mom your child is
supposed to have, and that makes you the very best person for the job.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You love your child like no one else in the
world ever can. That is the nature of the special bond between mother and
child.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You understand your child’s subtle signals
better than anyone else. You know the difference between her cries, when he is
truly upset rather than just feeling tired and cranky, when she is scared from
a fall but not actually hurt, and all of the other signals children give their
moms that the normal onlooker would miss.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You know exactly what to say to make your child
feel like the most important person in the world. More importantly, you know
what to say to make your child feel like the most important person in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">your</i> world.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You can turn that little frown upside down. When
your child feels blue, you can bring the sunshine like no one else.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Keep up the great work, Mom. You are more valuable than you
realize.</span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-70233807099887368872012-11-07T08:00:00.000-07:002012-11-07T08:00:06.357-07:00Ask a Question - Get Entered to Win a FREE Book!What are the biggest parenting issues you face right now? What are questions you really want answered? What information would make mothering easier for you?<br />
<br />
Ask as many questions as you want by posting here. One name will be chosen at random from those posts to win a free copy of my book, <i>Mothering Like The Father: Following God's Example in Parenting Young Children</i>. Keep it for yourself or gift it to another mom. The drawing will be held on November 16, 2012.<br />
<br />
Your questions will be answered in the coming months here at <i>Mom of All Trades</i> and in my e-newsletter, <i>Monthly Answers for Moms</i>. If you are not a <i>Monthly Answers</i> subscriber, send your name and e-mail address through the Keep In Touch page at <a href="http://www.motheringlikethefather.com/">www.MotheringLikeTheFather.com</a> to start receiving great information every month for free.<br />
<br />
I look forward to seeing your questions!dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-35112325180975357342012-11-06T15:14:00.003-07:002012-11-06T15:14:44.135-07:00Choices Are Like VotesHappy Election Day! My favorite part of this day is knowing that tomorrow I won't have to watch any campaign commercials and no pollsters or political action groups will call during dinner. I will have at least a week off before the hubbub of the next campaign season begins again.<br />
<br />
However, we never really get a break from voting, because every choice we make is essentially a vote. I am constantly bombarded with options, and I make selections. I may not do it with a ballot, but my actions make known what I believe in and what/who I support on a daily basis.<br />
<br />
There are things we all do regularly to live out this "vote," and we call these actions <i>traditions</i>. Some are daily rituals and others mark special occasions, but our traditions often tend to say, "This is something I value - it is important to me."<br />
<br />
We are quickly moving into prime tradition season, since most of us celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve/Day in similar ways every year. So I ask you, what traditions do you like? Which ones do you dislike? What do you want to change about your traditions? How can you change traditions? What do your traditions say about your values?<br />
<br />
If you get my newsletter, <i>Monthly Answers for Moms</i>, we've already explored some of these questions together. I can't wait to hear your thoughts as you comment here. If you don't get the newsletter, send your name and e-mail address through the Keep In Touch page at <a href="http://www.motheringlikethefather.com/">www.MotheringLikeTheFather.com</a> and I'll make sure you start receiving it.<br />
<br />
I'm looking forward to hearing about your traditions!dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-30406164505898160022012-09-28T06:00:00.000-06:002012-09-28T06:00:05.077-06:00Pleasing Picky Eaters<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">“I don’t like this!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“I don’t want to try a
bite!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“I want ________!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">If these phrases are
familiar at meal time, you probably have a picky eater. Keeping fussy kids
nourished can be a challenge, but here are some strategies that might help.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Keep yourself sane by
having everyone in your family eat the same meal rather than preparing
different dishes for each person. It can be tricky to make one meal when
different members of the family like different foods, but everyone will survive
the experience and you won’t turn into a short order cook. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">For example, when
packing school lunches for my kids, both girls get the same items. One of my
daughters loves peanut butter and jelly, but the other isn’t crazy about it.
Therefore, they only have it once a week. That way one gets her favorite and
the other doesn’t have to deal with it too often. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I know moms who give each
member of the family his or her favorite foods every day, and it takes too much
of their time, is too expensive, and results in picky kids (and husbands) who
have limited taste palates and unbalanced diets. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">At meal time, encourage
everyone to try each item on the plate (within reason—don’t make the kids eat spicy
sauces, overly pungent items, or anything that will hurt their mouths). If a
child doesn’t like something, he doesn’t need to eat it as long as he tries a
bite every time it appears on the plate. A child who didn’t like broccoli last
week still has to try it this week since many tastes are acquired after several
exposures. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">If a child doesn’t like
anything on the plate, or eats but is still hungry, he is welcomed to get
something else. In my house this means the kids can select something from the
meat drawer in our refrigerator. This drawer is stocked with acceptable
substitutes, such as lunch meat (keep it nitrate/nitrite free if they eat it
often), cheese slices/sticks, cups of plain Greek yogurt they can flavor with
fresh fruit or nuts, baby carrots, pea pods, and other things the kids can eat
in place of (or in addition to) the dinner I prepared. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">In order to replace a
dinner, or add to one, with items from the drawer, kids must clear their dinner
dishes, get the new food items themselves, and clean up after themselves. Selecting
this choice should not make extra work for mom—the kids need to do it independently.
Fill the drawer with things that make independence possible. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Make sure the kids ask
before going into the drawer, or before getting anything to eat themselves.
That way you can monitor what they eat, when, and how much they consume. Also,
teach your kids to respect the fact that everything in the fridge isn’t theirs.
You may have plans for groceries you’ve purchased, so set clear limits on what
the kids can take from the refrigerator or pantry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">If a child won’t try a
particular food, don’t fight about it. Simply let your child know that he does
not need to eat, but that there won’t be any other foods available until he
tries a bite of everything on the plate. If he fuses about this, let him cool
off in time out. Food is not worth arguing over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Is meal preparation
stressful for you? If so, what can you do to make it easier? What resources do
you need?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Get more ideas for
making meal time pleasant in a Smarter Parenting Teleclass. Register today at <a href="http://www.motheringlikethefather.com/">www.MotheringLikeTheFather.com</a>
on the Parent Coaching Page.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-25861948259646609742012-09-26T06:00:00.000-06:002012-09-26T06:00:04.796-06:00Make The Most of Meal Time<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Whether it is dealing
with picky eaters, kids who won’t sit still, spilled food at every meal, or
some other issue, most moms have a challenge on their hands at meal time. I
have never heard of a family in which everyone liked the same foods, or in
which all family members were hungry at the same time. It is also very common for
mom and dad to disagree on meal time rules, such as how much children need to eat
or what qualifies as appropriate table behavior.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The strategies we will
talk about here are based on the assumption that your children are healthy and
are growing at a reasonable rate. If that is not the case, disregard this post
and make a meal time plan with your pediatrician and/or nutritionist. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">A pre-meal time routine
is a great way to signal to your family that it is time to start shifting gears
in order to prepare to eat, especially at dinner. Five or ten minutes before
the meal will be served, call the kids in to wash their hands and set the
table. They can start helping at around 18 months of age by putting out the napkins.
Don’t look for perfection, just participation. Older kids can set out silverware
or get drinks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Once the table is
ready, ask the kids to sit down and talk with you while you get everything plated.
This keeps them from getting underfoot and gives them a few minutes to settle
in and prepare to sit through the meal. Young kids often don’t eat much, so they
may finish their meals in only a few minutes. This routine gives you a little
extra time to bond as a family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">No healthy child will
allow himself to starve to death. Given this truth, consider what your priority
is for each meal. In my family, I hope to physically nourish my children with
food at breakfast and lunch. At dinner I want to nourish family relationships.
Dinner is the only meal my kids have with their father, so spending meaningful
time with him discussing the day is more important than what they eat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">If the kids misbehave
at the table, they get one warning. If the behavior continues, they go to time
out. This is not a big deal if you use the time out system effectively throughout
the day. If they don’t, you will probably have an unpleasant meal as your food
gets cold while you repeatedly re-deliver your child to the time out spot
(without talking, of course). Remember that discipline is an investment, and a
few lousy meals are an acceptable price to pay for the long-term benefits of
teaching your child how to behave. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">If a child tries at
least one bite of everything on the plate, and eats half or more of what you
provided then says he is full, that counts as eating a meal. Remember that a
healthy child will not allow himself to starve, so it is okay if he doesn’t eat
a meal. However, we don’t want him developing the habit of snacking between
meals instead. Tell a child who doesn’t want his dinner that it is perfectly
fine for him to get down from the table, but that he will not get any more food
until breakfast tomorrow morning. When he starts crying about being hungry in
an hour or two, don’t give in. Simply remind him that <i>he</i> chose to wait until the next meal, and remind yourself that he
will not starve. Feel free to offer him a glass of water instead of a snack. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Next time we will talk
about what to do when your child is hungry but doesn’t like what you’ve
prepared.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Is meal time pleasant
in your home? If so, what makes it that way? If not, why?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-69506917750994871722012-09-24T06:00:00.000-06:002012-09-24T06:00:09.074-06:00Go for the “Yes”<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Do you ever feel like
the word “no” makes up 90% of the vocabulary you use with your kids?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“No, you can’t have
cookies for breakfast.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">“No, we can’t go swimming right now—it is 5:00
in the morning.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">No. No. No. Sound familiar?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">I’ve noticed that
sometimes I get so used to saying <i>no</i>
that it automatically flies out of my mouth without thought. However, that is
not the kind of mom I want to be, and I don’t want the general sense of
negativity the word produces floating around in my house. Whenever possible, I
want to be a <i>yes</i> mom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">There is a big
difference between a yes mom and a permissive mom. A yes mom does not let her
kids get away with misbehavior, nor does she give in to their every whim. Rather, she is thoughtful enough, and
emotionally present enough, to meet her child’s requests with positive options
she can support. She can redirect her child without using the word <i>no</i>. For example, consider this dialogue:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Child: “I want to wear
my raincoat as a dress today.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Yes mom: “You may wear
your raincoat over a dress, or you can wear it as a dress when we get home from
having lunch with Grandma.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Both options mom
presented are reasonable and appropriate, and rather than automatically
dismissing her child’s request, she incorporates it into the choices given.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Sometimes there aren’t
two good alternatives to a child’s request, but we can still present a
choice. For example, during the school
year, my daughter typically needs a jacket for her morning recess, but she
doesn’t like wearing it in the car. Carrying it guarantees the jacket will come
home on the floor of my SUV. Therefore, her choices are to wear it or put it in
her backpack. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">She does not like
either of these options, and she has valid reasons for disliking them. However,
we simply don’t have a good alternative. This happens to all of us sometimes,
and we have to learn to make the best of an imperfect situation. As parents, we
can stay positive and focus on teaching our children to consider the options
and select one, even when it isn’t the solution they’d hoped for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">When we make a point of
being yes moms, we force ourselves to consider our kids’ requests and craft
thoughtful responses. When our kids know
we hear, and process, what they ask, they are validated and are more likely to
behave in positive ways.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Smarter
parents keep things positive when they can, even when denying a child’s
request.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Under what
circumstances to you find yourself saying no without really considering other
possibilities?<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-40845928148163961582012-09-21T06:00:00.000-06:002012-09-21T06:00:06.701-06:00Pick Your Battles<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Last time we talked about giving kids choices. Sometimes we can get
overwhelmed by the volume of choices we make in a day and it can be hard to
decide which to hand over to our kids, which to make ourselves, and when to
hold firm to our decisions when our kids want something different. We call this “picking
our battles” because it just isn’t practical, fun, or relationship-building to
argue over everything.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">If we question everything our
children do we will be in constant conflict. We want our kids to develop the
ability to think, to assess situations, and to make appropriate decisions based
on those assessments. This takes lots and lots of practice, trial and error,
and the experience of making mistakes and learning from them. Let your children
fail so they can learn from those encounters. It is one of the hardest things
for parents to do, and it is one of the most educational for kids. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Take a few minutes to think about your values and your vision for your
family. What is truly important to you? When your children are grown and they
leave your home, what character traits do you want firmly planted in them? These
will help you pick your battles. If your child makes a decision that conflicts
with one of your core values, you will definitely want to address it. If he
makes a choice that you don’t care for but it doesn’t impact his values, you
can often let his choice stand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Smarter
parents give their children the opportunity to make smart choices, then pick
their battles, focusing on the issues related to their values.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Do
you feel like you can evaluate situations well in order to pick your battles
wisely? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Learn
more about picking your battles in a Smarter Parenting teleclass. Go to <a href="http://www.motheringlikethefather.com/">www.MotheringLikeTheFather.com</a>
today to get details and register.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-66506843693736839432012-09-19T06:00:00.000-06:002012-09-19T06:00:15.366-06:00Give Choices You Can Live With<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Learning how to make
decisions for yourself is part of growing up. Likewise, learning to let kids
make their own choices is part of growing as a parent. It is important to start
letting kids make their own choices, with limits, as early as possible because
this is an area where kids and parents both need a lot of practice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">When letting your
children make choices, give them two or three selections to pick from. Keep the
offer simple with similar options. “Would you like to wear the pink shirt or
the blue shirt with your jeans?” “Would you like to bring crackers, oranges, or
carrots to snack on at the park?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Make sure you can
actually see the choices you are offering. This prevents problems like giving
the pink shirt as a selection when it is in the laundry, or presenting oranges
as a snack option because you don’t know your husband ate the last one at
breakfast.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">If your child takes a long
time making a selection, give her a time limit. Say, “I am going to count to
five and then you need to decide or I will pick one for you.” If you end up picking
and she gets upset, remind her that she had an opportunity to choose and didn’t
take it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Your child may also
have a different option in mind, like, “Can’t I wear the yellow shirt?” If you
approve of the selection, allow it. If not, or if it is not available, simply
say, “That is not a choice today.” Explain your reason for saying no if you
can, but keep it short and to the point. Don’t get drawn into a debate. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Eventually, your child
will grow to the point of deciding things for herself without your input. You
will wake up one morning to find your child dressed and playing happily in her
room. When this happens, give positive comments about her independence and
praise her selection if you can. If she has <i>not</i>
done a good job getting dressed, simply say something cheerful to acknowledge
the effort, such as, “Hey, you got yourself ready!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Do not criticize her
selection, and do not undo it unless absolutely necessary. You don’t want to
give your children the message that they are not capable of making good
choices. As kids get older, they need to know they can be <i>trusted</i> to make good decisions all on their own. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">When your child makes a
good choice, praise it. When he makes a poor decision, think purposefully about
the situation and decide whether it truly needs to be addressed or not. If it does require some attention, simply
say, “Please make a better choice.” Offer guidance on how to make a different
decision, but don’t make it <i>for</i> your
child—encourage him to try again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Remember that our relationships with our children and their growing
confidence in their ability to make choices are important – usually more important
than what the child chooses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">When do you struggle to let your kids make their own choices?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">For more on teaching kids to make good choices, join a <i>Smarter Parenting</i> teleclass. Go to <a href="http://www.motheringlikethefather.com/">www.MotheringLikeTheFather.com</a>
and click on Parent Coaching for more details.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-44635655832586176402012-09-17T09:36:00.000-06:002012-09-17T09:36:49.241-06:00When Others Need to Discipline Your Kids<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Welcome to a new week!
I hope that sometime this week you will get a little break for some rejuvenation.
Hire a sitter and go on a date with your spouse. Drop the kids off at school
and do some true </span><i style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">shopping</i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">, where you take
the time to see what’s new, try on some clothes, spray on a perfume sample,
read the labels on food items, etc. Let grandma and grandpa take the kids for
the day so you can have lunch and catch a movie with some girlfriends. We all
need time to enjoy life without our kids, but that means leaving someone else
in charge. Most moms wonder how much authority to give caregivers when it comes
to discipline. The answer to this question is: it depends.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Instruct regularly-used
babysitters on how time out works and give them permission to use it if needed.
Remind them to be gentle and to focus on teaching. Don’t bother instructing the
occasional sitter unless your child really needs the established routine in
order to behave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Talk to teachers and daycare providers about the discipline they use. Let the
teacher/care provider know how you use time out at home and see if there is a
way to incorporate the system used at school/daycare into your time out
process. If there is and your child has trouble at school/daycare, talk to your child’s teacher about using the same
combo-technique for maximum consistency.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">The issue becomes
sticky when grandparents supervise the kids. If your child’s grandparents watch
him occasionally, just let them have fun and don’t worry about letting the
discipline slide unless your child’s behavior becomes a problem. If the
grandparents have your children often, teach them how to use time out and
encourage them to follow your established routine. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Many grandparents don’t
want to be disciplinarians; they want to be the fun adults in your child’s
life. However, if the child won’t behave then no one has fun and the grandparent/grandchild
relationship suffers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">If this is a problem in
your family, remind your kids of how to behave before each visit with their
grandparents. Depending on the ages, circumstances, and health conditions of
their grandparents, these expectations may change with time and with different
family members. These changes make it especially important to let the kids know
to behave (give specific example or ideas) and how they can help make the visit
a good experience. Ask them to be part of the family team so everyone can have fun,
including grandma and grandpa.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Kids need to know that most
of the rules are the same no matter who is in charge. While <i>you</i> should accept the fact that grandma
and grandpa are probably more lenient, your kids shouldn’t take advantage of
the situation. Help grandparents learn how to use time out by modeling it for
them. Ask them to discreetly watch you put your child in time out so they see
first-hand what to do. Remind them that the goal is to build positive, lasting relationships
with their grandchildren and that those relationships become strained when the
kids misbehave or when grandma and grandpa allow behavior that mom and dad
don’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">By working together
with babysitters, teachers, and grandparents, you give your kids a consistent message that benefits
everyone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What
do you do to let caregivers know they have the authority to discipline your
kids?</span></i></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-50234460661841585632012-09-14T06:00:00.000-06:002012-09-14T06:00:06.218-06:00Know How to Discipline in Public<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">You open your refrigerator door to look for breakfast, and realize you
are out of milk, eggs, and several other staples. Time to make a grocery run. You
grab your list and pack your kids into the car and head for the store.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">After getting everyone settled into the cart, you begin, as we talked
about last week, <i>gathering</i> your
groceries by quickly working from your list, not slowing down to look at what’s
new or to read labels. However, your speed doesn’t stop the kids from picking
and poking at each other. As their annoyance grows, so do their voices. “Stop
touching me!” yells one child. “I didn’t!” screams the other (the response my
youngest daughter once gave to the “I didn’t touch you,” answer was, “You
touched my atmosphere!”).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Before you know it, the kids are screeching, crying, and making an embarrassing
scene. What do you do?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">The first thing to remember is to be consistent. You don’t want your
children to wonder, “How will Mom respond.” Therefore, it doesn’t matter if you
are at home, the store, the park, or grandma’s house, use time out with a few
minor modifications (For instructions on how to use time out effectively, see
the blog post from August 6, 2012). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">When a child misbehaves in public, give one warning, just like you do
at home. Let him know that repeating the behavior will result in a time out
wherever you happen to be. The second time your child acts up, find a spot for
him to sit. Try to find an empty aisle of the grocery store (it may not stay
empty, and that is okay—don’t move your child if someone enters the aisle), a
quiet corner at the park, or an unused room in someone’s house (keeping the
bathroom as a last resort). We want an uncrowded spot because we are trying to
teach, not embarrass or distract the child away from his behavior.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Take your child to the spot you identified and have him sit for one
minute per year of age. In public, you will not leave your child. Simply turn
away from him so you won’t be engaged. If he leaves the spot, start the time
over again. If you are in a store and he touches the items on the shelves or
racks, start over again. If he screams or becomes overly unruly, leave your
cart, take him to the car and do your time out there. After time out you can retrieve
your cart and finish shopping or just come back another day if you prefer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">When the time is done, have your normal post-time out conversation by
asking, “Why are you in time out,” “How can you handle this better next time,”
and “Tell me you are sorry.” Then give your child a hug and move on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;">Some kids may test you to see if you are really committed to sticking
with this plan. Make it clear that you will not accept unreasonable behavior
and you will correct your child, no matter where you are. You may have a few
really bad outings while he tests you, but before long, he will learn that you
mean business and his behavior will improve.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">How
have you corrected your child in public in the past? Was it effective?</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"> </span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">What do you plan to do next time?</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For more tips and details on how to discipline in public,
join a <i>Smarter Parenting</i> Teleclass!
Register at <a href="http://www.motheringlikethefather.com/">www.MotheringLikeTheFather.com</a>
on the Parent Coaching page.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-12900687820342924542012-09-07T06:00:00.000-06:002012-09-07T06:00:05.699-06:00Take Active Steps to Manage Stress Part 5 – Know What is Important<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">No one
makes great choices when stressed. It is especially hard to be patient and stay
consistent with our kids when we feel under pressure. While we are all likely
to blow our tops occasionally, there are five steps we can take to manage our
stress so we are in a better emotional place to handle the situations that
trigger our unwanted reactions.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">The first
strategy was to make time for God. The second was to find some quiet, uninterrupted
time to do your adult thinking. The third was to take care of your physical
needs. The fourth was to use tools to help you manage your time and your day.
Today we finish talking about stress management.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">The fifth strategy is to know what is important.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I once heard
a personal coach say, “What is truly important is seldom urgent and what is
urgent is seldom truly important.” How
true that is! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Take some
time to really consider your values. What is most important to you? What do you
most want your kids to know before they leave your home as adults? What makes
you fulfilled? There is no right or wrong answer as long as you figure out what
is important to you and don’t let the urgencies of parenthood stop you from
living in accordance with your values. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Make sure
that every day you do one thing that supports your values. It doesn’t need to
be something big, just an action that lets you feel like you did something
meaningful during the day. Perhaps you prayed with your child, or read a story
about kindness, or picked up a few pieces of trash at the park.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">At the
end of the day, you want to be able to say, “I did a bunch of dishes and
laundry. I changed a lot of diapers. I listened to a load of whining and had to
discipline more than I hoped. However, I also did something that really
mattered to me on a different level.” Doing something meaningful helps fight
feelings of stress and gives you more patience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When
you do a better job of managing stress you keep your mind clear and can better
use your Smarter Parenting strategies.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Learn more <i>Smarter
Parenting</i> strategies in the teleclass. Find out more at <a href="http://www.motheringlikethefather.com/">www.MotheringLikeTheFather.com</a>
and click on Parent Coaching.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-80187814494609244792012-09-05T06:00:00.000-06:002012-09-05T06:00:12.177-06:00Take Active Steps to Manage Stress Part 4 – Use Tools to Manage Your Day<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">No one
makes great choices when stressed. It is especially hard to be patient and stay
consistent with our kids when we feel under pressure. While we are all likely
to blow our tops occasionally, there are five steps we can take to manage our
stress so we are in a better emotional place to handle the situations that
trigger our unwanted reactions.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Strategy 4 is to use tools to manage our days more effectively.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">When my
mind is on one hundred things at a time, I can’t focus on anything. I spend my time working on a little bit of
everything, leaving a day’s work that reveals no visible results. I end up tired and frustrated because despite
all my hard work I have nothing to show for it.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I realize
it sound tedious if you are not a list maker, but keeping a “to do” list really
does help. When I know that phone call I
need to make is on my list I can finish the task at hand without worrying I’ll
forget about it. When laundry is on the
list I know I will get to it and I don’t have to start a load just because I’m reminded
it needs to be done. The list is my
memory and all I need to remember is to write things down and finish what I’ve
started before moving on to the next item. This allows me to actually be
productive and to see some real results rather than just working all day
without accomplishing anything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">For some
people it works to write down everything needing to be done, for others it
helps to write a shorter, modified list that includes only the top five things
you need to do. Or maybe you just list
the little projects that keep slipping through the cracks. Experiment and use the type of list that
makes you feel in control of your day. The sort of list you use may change with
time, but if your list is stressing you out then it is the wrong type.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Another list I find helpful relates to my least favorite question of the day,
“What’s for dinner?” You can answer this
by planning your meals in advance. Whether you go to one of those places where
you assemble a bunch of dishes to put in your freezer, cook in advance at home
to fill your freezer, use a meal planning website such as relishrelish.com, or
simply work out a list of meals to make for the week, you will find that knowing what
you will make in advance is a big stress reliever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Knowing
what you are going to cook also helps you make a grocery list. Never take your
children to the grocery store unless you have your list with you. Know what you
need, and grab it. Do not take the time to read labels or compare prices when
shopping with your kids. Get what you know works and move on. Find a time when
the kids are with dad or at school to do your real <i>shopping</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">To learn
about more tools to help you feel in control of your time and your day,
register for the <i>Smarter Parenting</i>
Teleclass at <a href="http://www.motheringlikethefather.com/">www.MotheringLikeTheFather.com</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-711130132989222692012-09-03T06:00:00.000-06:002012-09-03T06:00:09.278-06:00Take Active Steps To Manage Stress Part 3 – Take Care of Yourself<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">No one
makes great choices when stressed. It is especially hard to be patient and stay
consistent with our kids when we feel under pressure. While we are all likely
to blow our tops occasionally, there are five steps we can take to manage our
stress so we are in a better emotional place to handle the situations that
trigger our unwanted reactions.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">The first
strategy was to make time for God. The second was to find some quiet time to do
your adult thinking. Today we move on to strategy three.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">The next strategy is to take care of yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I find
that when I take care of myself and have a clear head, I can pretty much handle
what comes my way with some element of grace and style. When I am running on five hours of sleep,
have a tummy full of junk, am a couple of days past due on a shower and have my
mind racing six directions at once, I get stressed out and am not smart in the
way I respond to my kids.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Pregnancy
changes our bodies, but after the baby arrives we often don’t pay much
attention to our own physical needs. I encourage you to take some time, and if
necessary, ask your spouse, one of your parents or siblings, or a friend to
help you. Figure out how much sleep you actually need and what time that sleep
needs to start (once your kids are sleeping through the night, of course).
Relearn what foods make you feel good, recognizing that some of your old
favorites might not work for you anymore. Determine how much exercise you need,
and what type of exercise makes you feel energized.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Keep in
mind that your kids melt down when they get tired, hungry, or cranky. So do parents,
we just call it losing our patience. When we get enough sleep and eat foods
that make us feel good, we are able to better manage our stress and respond to
the daily challenges of parenthood in smarter ways.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Also,
taking care of our bodies is a way of respecting our families and respecting
God. When we are functioning at our
best, we can give our families our best.
Likewise, if we want the Holy Spirit to live happily in us, we need to
give it a nice place to live. We
wouldn’t invite God over to our house if it was falling apart, we would clean
it up and make it comfortable for him.
Our bodies are no different.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">This is
also an area where are kids are watching so we need to be aware of what we
model. Love yourself so your kids see
how to do it for themselves. Also, moms,
make sure your kids see you taking time for yourself, going out with friends,
pursuing hobbies, whatever you like to do.
It is ok for kids to know their moms are whole people who leave the
house to go places other than Super Target and church. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Taking
care of yourself is not selfish—it is an important step in refueling yourself and
managing your stress so you can give your family your best.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4253329062472986683.post-44406041801876170682012-08-31T06:00:00.000-06:002012-08-31T06:00:14.658-06:00Take active steps to manage stress – Find Some Quiet<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">No one
makes great choices when stressed. It is especially hard to be patient and stay
consistent with our kids when we feel under pressure. While we are all likely
to blow our tops occasionally, there are five steps we can take to manage our
stress so we are in a better emotional place to handle the situations that
trigger our unwanted reactions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Last time
we talked about making time for God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<i><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">The second strategy for managing stress is to find some
quiet time to do your “adult thinking.” <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">All
adults have things they need to mentally process and work they need to
accomplish without interruption. It could be work for a job, it could be a
hobby you are passionate about, it could be balancing the checkbook or making a
family budget for the month, it doesn’t matter. We all have things we can’t do
when the kids are around talking to us and needing us to take care of things. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">But when we don’t get this work done, it starts to irritate us. It almost
begins to take on weight as we mentally mull it over and worry about when it
will get done. And when our brains are busy worrying about this work, we get
stressed and we don’t think clearly about the tones of voice we use, our word
choices, or our attitudes. When I have something that requires uninterrupted
thought, I have found that the only time I can do it is when the rest of my
family is asleep. For me that is first
thing in the morning before everyone is awake, for you that might be after
everyone else has gone to bed for the night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Do not
waste this time doing work you can do with the kids. This is not the time to
clean the house or update your facebook status. Use this time wisely so you can clear your head and keep your stress level under control.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Learn how
to make the most of this time, how it can benefit your family, and what to do when your kids interrupt it with the
<i>Smarter Parenting</i> Teleclass. Get more information at <a href="http://www.motheringlikethefather.com/">www.MotheringLikeTheFather.com</a>
and click on Parent Coaching.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />dianne in coloradohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16592377250906567054noreply@blogger.com0