My kids’ summer vacation is nearly over and we haven’t done all of the fun things I planned. We haven’t yet been to the zoo, the amusement park, or a nearby canyon for a day of hiking. However, the personal projects I hoped to complete over the summer remain undone as well. My closet is still the same mess it was last spring and the new tile I bought for my bathroom sits waiting on the counter, still uninstalled. These projects remain undone because, although we haven’t done everything I hoped for, the kids and I have gone on a two week vacation, been swimming many times, gone to my daughter’s baseball practices and games twice a week, and on and on and on.
When it comes to budgeting my time, my kids get the biggest piece of the pie. And I want it that way. I am acutely aware of how quickly they grow up and how precious these years are when they actually want to do things with me. It won’t be long until their summers are filled with camps and jobs and friends, and I’ll be off hiking on my own. I want to make the most of every day I have with my kids while I still actually have them.
But in the mean time, my adult projects are piling up and stressing me out. I’m not sure where the concept of a “balanced life” originated, because it is an unreachable goal. It is impossible to give equal amounts of attention to your children, your spouse, your work and your home. And who would want to? The people in my life are far more important than my “to do” list, so why wouldn’t I give them priority status when it comes to dividing my time?
According to scripture, Jesus didn’t lead a “balanced” life at all. His attention wasn’t on home repair or planning the perfect anniversary dinner for his wife. He had one, singular focus – ministry. He didn’t try to have it all. So why do we?
The real question is, how do I avoid feeling guilty or stressed over the jobs that remain undone. Let’s hear your ideas and suggestions!
4 comments:
Congratulations on your new blog!
I think you're right in that the "balanced life" isn't really balanced at all. At the end of your life, you aren't going to care about the projects you got done, it's family and the love you leave behind that counts.
I'm a piler and it drives me crazy some days. I can't find my counter and some days I can't find the floor. But when your husband cleans it all up one morning, and to walk downstairs to "nothing to do" is such a gift. I can just enjoy my family and not worry about hurry up and get it done. You can't take it with you when you go, but the memories of today will make your dreams even brighter.
Dianne,
I bebopped over from Jan's blog this morning, so this is my first visit. I love your question, though. I think it is one that all mothers ask. Recently, I had the neatest compliment (at least in my opinion), I was at lunch with a group of fabulous ladies, and we were talking about the various things the Lord allows me to do (writing, photography, speaking, painting birdhouses and boxes, etc), and one of the ladies said, "But you know what really blesses me? The fact that your greatest ministry is to your husband and children, and you love it that way." We talked a bit, and I was asked how I got here. The abbreviated version is one simple question: God, how do you want to love __________ today?
Our whole purpose on this earth is to be God to those around us--to express His character which is defined in John 4 as love. So I ask how He wants to love.
I asked this about my daughter yesterday, and the Lord said He wanted her to see Him love her with His time, and He gave me ideas for loving her by giving her MY time. He said He wanted to love my son with consistancy (ouch) because Robert needs to know that God never changes, not in His commitment, not in His opinions of right and wrong, not in His character. I asked about how He wanted to love my husband, and He said to do some extra chores that would lighten Rob's load because God wants Rob to know He will provide the help Rob needs and Rob doesn't have to carry the whole load. It's building Rob's faith for ministry.
You can apply it to anyone. How do you want to love the lady at the library? The man at the grocery store? My mother-in-law that is way too pushy?
It makes me responsible for nothing but obedience. It pushes me beyond where I would prefer to go, which means I do a lot of dying, and I cannot tell you the power it has to change things including my stress level.
The other thing is seasonal. We know how to handle the weather seasons and don't expect the same things for each season, but we forget Solomon's wisdom that there are seasons in life that have different expectations. When I start getting stressed, I take it back to God and ask what I don't need for the season and what I do need. I let Him cull out what needs to go and put in what needs to be there, and somedays that means you can write you name on the horizontal surfaces in my home, but more than likely, you'll be too interest in the fun I'm having with my family to even notice. I'm sure your life works the same way, and it's okay.
That is my suggestion. Sorry for the length, but I hope it helps.
"And her children rise up and called her blessed, and her husband says there are good women in the world, but you surpass them all." -- paraphrase Proverbs 31.
You've been tagged with "10 Things We'll Never Hear You Say."
Post a Comment