Saying No

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. – Galatians 5:25

Are you the type of person who can’t say no? Whatever anyone needs, you take care of it whether you really want to or not? When I was in college, we called people like that joiners. They joined in everything and kept mind boggling schedules. I knew the ins and outs of this personality type because I was their ringleader.

Once my first child was born, however, the need to be all things to all people faded in the light of being all things to one tiny person. While I was still very involved in volunteer activities, the ability to say no was born right along with my baby.

Early in my mothering, I read a book that suggested identifying your primary, big picture purpose in life. In those first years as a mom, it seemed like my purpose was simply producing milk and changing diapers. However, deep down in my heart, I knew that I was to minister to other mothers. Armed with this knowledge, the book suggested that I only accept invitations to help in areas that related to this purpose. Any other offer, no matter how good or worthwhile it may be, needed serious consideration and prayer before accepting it.

This system proved to be very effective. Other than helping with things at my children’s school, my volunteer time is committed to helping moms. So is my writing and speaking. However, I currently feel the turmoil of uncharted waters. Someone asked me to lead a summer Bible study for mothers, and I feel God telling me no.

“But this falls under the umbrella of my primary purpose,” I argued to God.

“I know,” He answered, “but this is not how I need to use you right now.”

“Are you changing my purpose?”

“No,” He assured me. “I plan to use you in a different way to fulfill your purpose.”

Apparently, I need to write to the author of that book and give her an update. While well-laid plans can carry us for a while, God directs our paths in the end. We don’t get to simply figure out our purpose then go forth on our own. He is still in charge of our missions, our ministries and our lives, and we need His guidance at every step.

Is God calling you in an unexpected way? Share your experience.