Dress Code For Life

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. – Romans 12:1

It is an issue that has kids groaning and parents singing for joy—school uniforms. The charter school my children attend requires its students to wear uniforms. The kids can only wear navy blue pants or shorts, and skirts and jumpers are only available in a blue and green plaid (which I personally find adorable). However, there are a number of shirts styles and colors available, as well as a sweatshirt, sweater, and sweater vest.

In addition to the uniform, the school enforces a fairly stringent dress code. Tops tuck into bottoms, hair stays neat and out of the eyes, and pants rest around the waist with the help of leather belts. Everything works together to give the students a neat, clean appearance.

I love the uniform and dress code because it makes mornings easy. There is no debate over what to wear or what is appropriate. As my kids get older, I will be free from the pressure to buy brand names, and we won’t battle over clothing that is too tight, too short, or too revealing because it is simply not allowed at school.

Recently, however, a conversation with a parent from the school made me realize another potential benefit of the uniform. “My hope,” she said, “is that by growing up in modest, neat clothing, my kids will become most comfortable when they dress that way. I hope this is how they will want to look when they move on from this school.”

She has a great point, and I see it happening already. My kids have play clothes for after school and on the weekends, but they like to stay in their uniforms. And when they do put on play clothes, the shirts get tucked in as a matter of habit.

Another thing to consider is how much easier it is to continue a good habit than to break a bad one. Toddlers are cute when they wear their ballet attire to the grocery store, but thirteen-year-olds don’t look so adorable when they go out in leotard-tight tops. This means I need to remember to bring a dress to pull over my daughter’s gymnastics outfit when we stop by the store after class so we get a good habit established now. Likewise, I smile when I see a little guy’s diaper sticking out of the top of his pants, but I feel sad for the teenage boys who wear their pants low to intentionally show off their boxer shorts. Teaching my kids about privacy now may help them avoid this “fashion trend” later. Let’s face it, establishing healthy guidelines for modesty is easier when kids are young. By the time they are teenagers, the battle in this arena is pretty much over.

Plus, growing up properly dressed is important in building self esteem and developing a strong, positive self image.

Every week I see a little boy, around age three, who wears his hair in a Mohawk. Sometimes it is green, others pink, but it is always colored. He typically looks nervous, as though he knows people are wondering why his hair is so unusual. He is growing up feeling out of place—like an oddball. And since he is so young, this decision clearly falls to his parents.

Thankfully, our world offers so many positive ways to express our individuality and creativity that we don’t need to resort to harmful or uncomfortable ways of exerting our uniqueness. Our kids don’t either. Opportunities abound to stand above the crowd in sports, music, art, writing, and serving others. The eight-year-old daughter of a friend of mine raced in a triathlon. Several elementary school students I know had their art displayed in a local museum. My nieces and nephew perform in full-length, professional quality plays at their church. One teenager actually writes plays for the dinner theater in his community. Help your kids find ways to excel and feel great about themselves, and encourage them to steer clear of behaviors that bring negative attention.

If I want the Holy Spirit to dwell happily in me, I need to provide a comfortable place for it. That means having a body I am comfortable living in—not one that attracts attention in ways that make me uneasy or self-conscious. The same applies to my kids. By teaching them today how to monitor their outer appearance, I hope to be building their inner confidence for tomorrow.

What “dress code” issue does your family face? Share your ideas or tips for encouraging individuality in positive ways.