There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. - Ecclesiastes 3:1
Yesterday, my eight-year-old went outside to ride her bike. This may seem like a routine thing for a kid to do, and not something worth blogging about. For most third graders, bike riding is as normal as walking. For my daughter, however, this is not the case. Her nemesis took the form of a bicycle about two years ago.
With training wheels as her constant companion, my little biker did pretty well cruising up and down our long (and bumpy) country driveway. But one sunny day, we decided to try riding on a long, smooth, concrete path in town. Our adventure progressed so well that my husband and I thought it was time for our daughter to try a genuine two-wheeler, without training wheels.
As I am sure you can guess, I wouldn’t be writing about this event had we gone on to enjoy a successful bike ride. Instead, fast forward to the present day where any mention of bike riding sent my daughter into hiding. One day I insisted she practice, with me holding her on the bike. I explained that “someday you will have to know how to ride a bike. How else will you get around at college?” She quickly rebutted with, “I’ll drive.”
Yesterday, however, she came home from school and said, “I’m going to try riding my bike.” I have no idea what brought about this change of heart, and I was too dumbstruck to ask any questions. Instead, I watched in amazement as she sat on the bike with her feet on the ground and found her balance. She set her peddles into a precise position, then went into motion. At first she only went about half of a yard before her feet sought solid ground, but within thirty minutes, she was riding her two-wheeler, all on her own, to the end of the driveway and back.
That night I told her how proud I was of her for riding her bike. She said, “I guess I’m finally tall enough to fit the bike.” I assured her that she was tall enough the day we bought it for her. What had grown was her confidence, along with her sense of determination. No matter how much her dad and I (as well as her sister, grandparents, cousins and friends) had tried convincing her that she could do it and would enjoy it, no one could make her ride a bike. She would never do it until she was ready.
Timing is a funny thing. We all have things that we should be able to do, yet somehow we aren’t quite ready to take the necessary steps. I often meet moms stuck in this phase of limbo when it comes to being consistent in their discipline techniques. They know they should be able to discipline their children, they want to do it, yet something holds them back from actually doing it.
We all know that you can’t make a kid use the potty until he is ready, and all of the potty-training know-how in the world won’t make him ready.
Most of us have known high school seniors who, despite good grades and big ambitions, just aren’t ready to go to leave home for college.
Accepting when the timing isn’t right can be frustrating. Overcoming a readiness hurdle, whether in ourselves or in our children, requires both prayer and patience until something within eventually gets into gear and we move forward. Forcing the issue gets us nowhere, especially when it comes to kids.
I am grateful that the time is finally right for my daughter to be a bike rider. Now if I can just hold out until she is ready to use the brakes…
What are you wishing you were ready for but the timing just doesn’t seem to be right? What are you wishing your kids were ready for?
1 comment:
I love this analogy. I applaud your parenting style regarding this. If she had been repeatedly forced to ride her bike, the outcome would have been much different. Instead, you waited until she came to you.
I see our Heavenly Father doing much the same thing. He knows we are big enough for our bike, but we aren't sure. So, He patiently waits until we are ready.
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