Have a Family Game Night

Right now, before you make any other plans, go pull out a few board games and set them somewhere you will see later tonight so you don't forget to have a family game night.

Once you get going, everyone has fun with board games. However, to many of us, the idea doesn't sound very appealing until the fun actually starts. It is also such a simple idea that many of us forget to do it. I know I have games that are nearly new because I so often make bigger, more elaborate plans for family fun that the game boxes remain unopened.

However, over the past few weeks my daughter and I have been making a point of playing together more often. What fun we've had!

Kids learn important life skills through games:
~How to take turns
~How to lose a turn with good grace
~How to be a good sport when winning and losing
~How to be fair
~How to follow directions
~How to follow a sequence
~Critical thinking
~Counting
~How to be an encourager
~Problem solving
~Time management
~Strategy
~Money management (in some games such as Monopoly)
~Fine motor skills (especially when holding a hand of cards
~How to deal with disappointment
~Self confidence
~Communication skills, including intergenerational communication skills
~And more.

Plus, as a parent, games give you the chance to check on your child’s skills and help you assess how he is developing. Pay attention to how your child plays and gently guide him in the areas where he needs to grow. If when moving his piece around the board he tends to skip over spots or doesn’t count correctly, help him move his piece back to where he started so he can try again. If he cries when he doesn’t win, help him learn how to use words to express his unhappiness. Teach him to say, “I am sad that I didn’t win, but I am happy for you.”

You can also use family game night as a chance to talk to your kids about their lives, the issues they are facing and how they feel in a relaxed setting, especially with preteens and teens who may not be as chatty as they once were.

Enjoy the time to bond with your family, practice skills, and have a ton of fun.

When Is Your Child Old Enough For A Sleepover?

It is the call many moms dread, “Can your son/daughter come spend the night?” Sleepovers are lots of fun for kids, and help them practice important skills such as independence and manners. But how do you know if your child is ready?

The complicated answer to this seemingly simple question is that there is no set age at which a child can go to a slumber party. It depends on several factors.

1.       Is your child comfortable separating from you? If she hangs on to your leg when you drop her off at school/preschool/Sunday school, she may not be comfortable leaving you for an entire night. Test this by letting your child spend the night with grandparents, cousins, or close family friends who are familiar to your child and who won’t feel embarrassed calling you in the middle of the night if your child wants to go home. 

2.       Are you comfortable separating from your child? It is natural to worry a bit when allowing your little one to experience something new, but if you spend the entire night obsessing about it, or call the other mom repeatedly to check on your child, you may not be ready. Talk to your spouse or a trusted friend to determine if your fears are grounded in truth or if you need to loosen the reins a little. 

3.       Is your child capable of speaking up for himself? If your child can clearly communicate what he needs, likes, and dislikes, you can probably feel confident that he will do fine at a friend’s house without you. If he is still working on these skills, then stick with shorter play dates where the kids have fun while you and the other mom get to know each other over a cup of coffee.

4.       Do you trust the family inviting your child to spend the night? If you feel comfortable with the parents, it will go a long way in easing your fears about the situation. When you are more relaxed, your child will be also. If you don’t know the parents well, or if you have concerns about the friend’s siblings, tell the other mom you’d like to get to know them better first. Invite the family over for dinner so you can see first-hand how the kids get along and how the parents respond to any conflicts. You can also see what siblings are like. Never send your child to another home if you don’t feel sure he will be safe and well supervised.

5.       How does your child play with others? If she seems to have a steady stream of fun ideas and gets along well with her friends during play dates, she is probably ready for a longer experience, such as an overnight. If she tends to argue a lot or get bored, she may not be ready for an extended interaction. 

6.       It is okay to allow sleepovers with some friends and not others. Try not to get into the details with your child on why some overnights are not allowed until your son/daughter is mature enough not to say something offensive or unkind to a friend. In the meantime, just say, “I’m sorry but that won’t work this time,” and try to leave it at that. You can offer to have the friend over to your house to play, or meet at a park for a fun afternoon. 

7.       Find out if other kids will be there or not. Is this a birthday party with several kids spending the night? If so, who will be there? Will your child know several of the other guests? Make sure your child will have more than one buddy so she doesn't end up feeling left out. Also see if the other guests are kids you are comfortable with your child being around for a long period of time. If there is a serious concern, you can let your child go the party but pick him up before everyone pulls out their sleeping bags.

8.       Avoid setting an age for sleepovers. This can cause unneeded conflict when your child is developmentally ready for an overnight but hasn’t reach the pre-determined age, or when she is old enough to go but you object to the friend who has invited her. Take each invitation on a case-by-case basis. 

9.       Above all, trust your gut. If your instincts say “no,” then your mouth should say it too.

Age Appropriate

“Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. He who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous.” 1 John 3:7

Seemingly out of the blue, my eight-year-old daughter became a thrill seeker. She suddenly developed an interest in scary movies, “big kid” amusement park rides, and cruising around on her bike without using her hands.

This is a perfectly normal development for an eight-year-old. However, it brings a new twist on determining what is age appropriate, particularly when it comes to books and movies. Unfortunately, most media products don’t grow one developmental milestone at a time the way kids do. A child who is ready for more action and adventure in movies may not be prepared for the additional violence, foul language, or romantic themes that often come along for the ride.

We ran into this issue earlier this month when my daughter wanted to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Since she had already read the book, I went to the theater myself to preview the film version. Usually I turn to on-line reviewers, such as kidsinmind.com, but I had a hard time deciding whether this movie would be appropriate or not, so I checked it out in person. The next day, I returned to the theater with my daughter for a girl’s night out at the movies, but not before having a conversation about all the kissing she was about to see. The movie gave me a nice excuse to have one of many conversations about personal boundaries and appropriate shows of affection.

Books can be a bit easier to manage than movies. After all, the imagination generally doesn’t go into unfamiliar territory. When my daughter wants to read something I am unfamiliar with, I either have a quick chat with the school librarian (who is always happy to advise me on age appropriate books) or my daughter and I read the book together so we can discuss any questionable themes in the context of the story.

Not sure what is age appropriate or what new stages you should expect to see in your child? Check out parentcenter.com. They have information on child development from birth through age eight.