10 Reminders for Moms

Happy New Year! 'Tis the season to set new resolutions, but sometimes we get so excited about our grand goals that we forget the little things we need to do every day to truly feel great about our parenting. Here are 10 Reminders to help you keep your family in shape so you can focus attention on those other goals.

10 New Year’s Reminders for Moms

1 – Give hugs to every day (to your kids and your husband)

2 – Kids hear better when mom’s voice is calm and kind.

3 – Cranky kids and naughty kids are often tired kids. Protect bedtime!

4 – The way you talk to your child tells him his value. Make sure your words and your tone tell him he is special, wonderful, and precious.

5 – Make time to play.

6 – Kids need parents, not another friend. Don’t be afraid of your parental authority.

7 – Listen more than you speak. Listen with your ears, eyes, heart, and gut – you will learn a lot!

8 – Don’t jump in too quickly – give your kids a chance to find their own solutions and fix their own problems.

9 – Model forgiveness.

10 – Say “I love you” every day.

Goal or Dream?

“Then Job replied to the Lord: I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.” – Job 42:1-2

Last year I set a big, life-changing sort of goal for myself. I decided that I want to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro by the time I am 40. I got my husband on board, and we set out a plan to start training, and saving money, for this expedition that would challenge us both physically and financially.

We got out our calendars and planned regular hiking trips throughout the spring, preparing us to tackle two “14ers” (mountains with summit elevations over 14,000 feet above sea level) during the summer. I also started looking for ways to save little bits of money here and there, hoping to save enough to put a dent in the price tag of this trip.

Fast forward about a year to today. While we did get in some fabulous hiking last year, little of it was difficult enough to truly constitute “training” since we ended up taking our kids with us every time. This made for great family bonding, as well as good exercise, but hardly prepared us to take on the big mountains we planned to face during the summer. As a result, the highest elevation we hit last year was around 9,400 feet. Additionally, my savings plan clearly needs modification since my personal piggy bank is disappointingly light.

The state of this situation led me to question whether I am truly pursuing a goal or merely chasing a dream. I see a goal as something you work toward with a strategic plan for accomplishing well-defined benchmarks along the way. When you get off track, you re-collect yourself and try again. A dream, on the other hand, is something that is more likely to stay in your head, feeling exciting and offering a sense of hope, while never actually becoming an action of your hands and feet.

So what happened over the past year to demote my goal to mere dream status? A couple of things got in the way, including the pursuit of another goal—getting my book published. Additionally, daily life with two young children and changes in my husband’s work seemed to control the schedule more than I did. This fact is perhaps the most telling in deciding whether something is a goal or a dream. When you are focused on accomplishing something, its place in your schedule is sacred. When you dream of something, you allow other activities to come first. Clearly for me, getting my book out was a priority over mountain climbing last year. That is okay with me.

One of my favorite sayings is, “You can have it all, just not all at the same time.” Last year was the time for the book. Perhaps this will be the year for the mountain climbing. Once again, I am going to schedule regular hiking trips (some with the kids and some with child care) and hopefully make it to 14,000 feet this summer. I am going to fine tune my savings plan, since I now only have four years to either win the lottery or save an equivalent amount before turning 40. In short, I am going to move Kilimanjaro from dream status back to goal status (I’ll let you know how it goes since I have two more books in the works!).

This week, I encourage you to consider what your goals are versus your dreams. What steps are you taking to accomplish something meaningful to you? What physical reminders can you put in place around you to help keep you on track? These might be things like notes to yourself, a special quill on your desk to remind you to write, or a photo of Kilimanjaro to inspire you. Share your goals and dreams with us – let’s inspire and encourage each other in our endeavors.


On a separate note, I now have the devotional page up and running on my web site. Check out a weekly look at how the Book of Philippians relates to our lives as moms. www.motheringlikethefather.com

Struggling To Reach The Goal

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. - Philippians 1:6

During the month of November, my writer’s group is having a challenge. Each member set goals at the beginning of the month, and we have thirty days to accomplish them.

I put serious thought into my goals. I wanted to set reasonable expectations while still stretching myself in meaningful ways.

Now, here we are, nearly halfway through the month, and I have made hardly a dent in accomplishing my objectives. My lack of forward momentum is frustrating, and as I cross off each day on the calendar, I feel the weight of a looming deadline pressing harder.

I am sure you’ve had a similar experience. In fact, our kids have them as well. One of my daughters is in the process of challenging herself to be more independent. We have always joked that her motto is, “Why do for yourself what others will do for you?” That is changing as we now hear, “Let me try it myself,” with increasing frequency (along with all of the tears that accompany her less successful efforts).

My other daughter is putting her energy into slowing down and doing nice, neat schoolwork. She is learning that often the correct answer is not enough, especially if the teacher can’t read it. She gets frustrated when her grades reflect her penmanship rather than her knowledge.

When I struggle with meeting my goals, it helps to have someone encourage me while also holding me accountable. We can be this “someone” for our children by cheering for each little step of progress they make and by not letting them give up when things get tricky, or when the thought of a different goal catches their fancy. For example, my messy writer knows that when she goes a whole week without needing to redo any of her homework, she will get a special outing with Mom.

Changing ourselves takes a great deal of self-discipline, but if we don’t take the challenge, we can’t grow. God tells us that He will see our work through to completion, but often that means we need to be open to learning new skills and developing in ways that allow Him to finish that work in us.

How is He stretching you today?