Friday, September 21, 2012

Pick Your Battles


Last time we talked about giving kids choices. Sometimes we can get overwhelmed by the volume of choices we make in a day and it can be hard to decide which to hand over to our kids, which to make ourselves, and when to hold firm to our decisions when our kids want something different. We call this “picking our battles” because it just isn’t practical, fun, or relationship-building to argue over everything.

If we question everything our children do we will be in constant conflict. We want our kids to develop the ability to think, to assess situations, and to make appropriate decisions based on those assessments. This takes lots and lots of practice, trial and error, and the experience of making mistakes and learning from them. Let your children fail so they can learn from those encounters. It is one of the hardest things for parents to do, and it is one of the most educational for kids.

Take a few minutes to think about your values and your vision for your family. What is truly important to you? When your children are grown and they leave your home, what character traits do you want firmly planted in them? These will help you pick your battles. If your child makes a decision that conflicts with one of your core values, you will definitely want to address it. If he makes a choice that you don’t care for but it doesn’t impact his values, you can often let his choice stand.

Smarter parents give their children the opportunity to make smart choices, then pick their battles, focusing on the issues related to their values.

Do you feel like you can evaluate situations well in order to pick your battles wisely?

Learn more about picking your battles in a Smarter Parenting teleclass. Go to www.MotheringLikeTheFather.com today to get details and register.

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