Take Active Steps To Manage Stress Part 3 – Take Care of Yourself

No one makes great choices when stressed. It is especially hard to be patient and stay consistent with our kids when we feel under pressure. While we are all likely to blow our tops occasionally, there are five steps we can take to manage our stress so we are in a better emotional place to handle the situations that trigger our unwanted reactions.

The first strategy was to make time for God. The second was to find some quiet time to do your adult thinking. Today we move on to strategy three.

The next strategy is to take care of yourself.

I find that when I take care of myself and have a clear head, I can pretty much handle what comes my way with some element of grace and style.  When I am running on five hours of sleep, have a tummy full of junk, am a couple of days past due on a shower and have my mind racing six directions at once, I get stressed out and am not smart in the way I respond to my kids.

Pregnancy changes our bodies, but after the baby arrives we often don’t pay much attention to our own physical needs. I encourage you to take some time, and if necessary, ask your spouse, one of your parents or siblings, or a friend to help you. Figure out how much sleep you actually need and what time that sleep needs to start (once your kids are sleeping through the night, of course). Relearn what foods make you feel good, recognizing that some of your old favorites might not work for you anymore. Determine how much exercise you need, and what type of exercise makes you feel energized.

Keep in mind that your kids melt down when they get tired, hungry, or cranky. So do parents, we just call it losing our patience. When we get enough sleep and eat foods that make us feel good, we are able to better manage our stress and respond to the daily challenges of parenthood in smarter ways.

Also, taking care of our bodies is a way of respecting our families and respecting God.  When we are functioning at our best, we can give our families our best.  Likewise, if we want the Holy Spirit to live happily in us, we need to give it a nice place to live.  We wouldn’t invite God over to our house if it was falling apart, we would clean it up and make it comfortable for him.  Our bodies are no different.

This is also an area where are kids are watching so we need to be aware of what we model.  Love yourself so your kids see how to do it for themselves.  Also, moms, make sure your kids see you taking time for yourself, going out with friends, pursuing hobbies, whatever you like to do.  It is ok for kids to know their moms are whole people who leave the house to go places other than Super Target and church. 

Taking care of yourself is not selfish—it is an important step in refueling yourself and managing your stress so you can give your family your best.

Take active steps to manage stress – Find Some Quiet

No one makes great choices when stressed. It is especially hard to be patient and stay consistent with our kids when we feel under pressure. While we are all likely to blow our tops occasionally, there are five steps we can take to manage our stress so we are in a better emotional place to handle the situations that trigger our unwanted reactions.

Last time we talked about making time for God.

The second strategy for managing stress is to find some quiet time to do your “adult thinking.” 

All adults have things they need to mentally process and work they need to accomplish without interruption. It could be work for a job, it could be a hobby you are passionate about, it could be balancing the checkbook or making a family budget for the month, it doesn’t matter. We all have things we can’t do when the kids are around talking to us and needing us to take care of things. 

But when we don’t get this work done, it starts to irritate us. It almost begins to take on weight as we mentally mull it over and worry about when it will get done. And when our brains are busy worrying about this work, we get stressed and we don’t think clearly about the tones of voice we use, our word choices, or our attitudes. When I have something that requires uninterrupted thought, I have found that the only time I can do it is when the rest of my family is asleep.  For me that is first thing in the morning before everyone is awake, for you that might be after everyone else has gone to bed for the night.

Do not waste this time doing work you can do with the kids. This is not the time to clean the house or update your facebook status. Use this time wisely so you can clear your head and keep your stress level under control.

Learn how to make the most of this time, how it can benefit your family, and what to do when your kids interrupt it with the Smarter Parenting Teleclass. Get more information at www.MotheringLikeTheFather.com and click on Parent Coaching.

Managing Stress Part 1 - Making Time for God

No one makes great choices when stressed. It is especially hard to be patient and stay consistent with our kids when we feel under pressure. While we are all likely to blow our tops occasionally, there are five steps we can take to manage our stress so we are in a better emotional place to handle the situations that trigger our unwanted reactions.

The first one is to Make Time For God

When I am stressed I tend to fly off the handle, but when I am at peace I roll with the punches much more easily.  When I ask God for help in this area, He answers.

One way He answers me is by helping me make time for Him.  Somehow when I take time to consciously be in the presence of my Lord I get the same number of items crossed off my “to do” list as when I just get out of bed and get straight to work, but I am less harried about it.  I feel more peaceful and more patient.  I do a better job of making time for my husband and my children when I first make time for God.  

Each of us needs to be spending time in the Bible and time in prayer every day.  I know that is SO hard with little kids.  I go through periods where I really struggle with it myself.  But I promise you that if you make it a priority God will bless you and He will help you make the time. 

Next time we will talk about the second strategy for managing stress—finding some quiet time to do our “adult thinking.”